Anyone who has experienced divorce, the loss of a loved one or some other traumatic event in life, will understand the wide range of emotions a person experiences during these times. A sense of helplessness, hopelessness, anger and disappointment only touch the surface.  I was experiencing all of these, plus others, in the place I found myself. I think the most poignant was the utter sense of failure.

If you have not read the narrative on “About” at the top of the blog, I encourage you to do so. It provides more insight.

The “valley of the shadow of death” found in Psalm 23 pretty well describes how I was feeling. As you read further in the Psalm however, you encounter comfort, hope and provision. What I experienced was a crossroads of sorts. What would I do about God if he didn’t come through in what was, at the time, my greatest need and desire. After all Psalm 37:4-5 NIV says “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this.” I was beginning to realize what committing my way to the Lord meant. Matthew 6:33 NIV “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you as well”. Revelation 3:16 NIV “So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth”. What I believe the Lord was showing me in the midst of my pain was that he wanted all of me. He wanted a total commitment.  More of a commitment than I had made thus far in life.

I remember very well the evening, when during a time of prayer, I arrived at the intersection of the crossroads. The time was at hand for me to decide where I stood in this struggle. As I remember, it was with great fear and trembling that I said to God, “No matter what, whether you restore my marriage or not, I am going to serve and follow you”. An overwhelming sense of Peace swept over me at that moment. I had decided the path I would follow.

I believe someone reading this, has accepted Jesus but has not arrived at their crossroad. Or they have arrived, but refused for whatever reason, to go further. The Word is clear in this regard. God’s desire is for you to go deeper in your relationship with him. He wants all of you. Life and my walk of Faith have taught me, a deep, meaningful, successful relationship requires total commitment. Jesus understood and instructed us in John 15:13 NIV “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”. He freely gave His life for you and me! After choosing to follow Him, how can I do less than serve him with my whole heart? Today He is asking you “Will you commit to me, walk with me, serve me, no matter what”?

It’s your decision to make. In the same way you are free to choose to accept His free gift of salvation or not, God will not force you to go deeper than you want to go with him. I pray you will choose to deepen your relationship with Him.

After 41 years I am thankful I said “no matter what” to Him. He has been faithful, and I have no regrets.